


Handbook for Surviving Insanity or Cheap Shit Hits the Fan Supply List

by Genuka



Category: Original Work, nonfiction - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 17:55:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7855201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genuka/pseuds/Genuka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mini-handbook for if everything simply turned off for some reason. This is not supposed to be a work of fiction.</p><p>I may be insane and you may choose to completely ignore this but what's a little life without some insanity?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crye4me](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crye4me/gifts).



My friends... I feel I should deliver a warning. I cannot tell you why or how but we will each be in great need of food, tools, shelter, and human comfort in the short future. I urge you to buy a stock of food that will keep for months or years without more than stuffing it in your cupboard. The same for water and water cleaning items. I have a multi-discipline understanding of a great number of things in an effort to make myself understood as someone with Autism. There are signs in many different areas that terrify me and make basic preparation for insanity and chaos vital, things being purposefully hidden from us by those in charge to avoid a panic. I will give you a short list of things that you can buy on nearly any budget and use in an emergency, some of which you may already have at hand ready for use and adaptation. All of this will assume that you don't have power or running tap water.

Food:

  * Water/Water purification tablets/system from camping section/Someplace and way to store and or purify water - People we can live for 3 weeks without food if we aren't already underweight but water? Nope, depending on heat and activity we need it within hours or days before lack of it kills us. The longest we can go without some sort of water is 3 days. Remind me to expand on this later because its uber important!!!!
  * Rice - Rice will keep for insane amounts of time as long as no bugs get in it and it stays dry.
  * Potatoes - the powdered stuff has an insane shelf life like Rice but the whole stuff can be used as seeds to grow more in a pinch and the bags of it are cheap!
  * Canned goods - Shelf life for this stuff is actually a lot longer than the number on the can unless its damaged. NEVER GET DAMAGED CANS! Damaged cans can _kill_ you.
  * Salt - this stuff isn't just good for making the food taste good it can be used to preserve foods so they last longer. Its also an important part of your diet.
  * Garlic - This stuff is amazing since it doubles as a general use medicine and has been used for centuries to kill nearly any small thing that wants you dead. Got a fungus/bacteria/virius hurting you? EAT Garlic! Yes, you'll be a bit stinky when you eat the amount to kill whatever it is but it will keep you alive and healthy. Once you start to stink of garlic from your sweat wait another day or two before going ahead and switching back to your normal foods.
  * Physical Book on Edible Plants for your area - yes this isn't actually edible but it could tell you what else is! I have been looking at stuff like this for more than 10 years and can give you a short list of good ones upon request. I don't advise the one on Edible Mushrooms simply because unless you already know which ones you can eat at a glance you could just as easily eat poison as some yummy mushrooms.
  * Survival Book/Military Handbook - this will give you everything or nearly everything I might cover. I have been looking at stuff like this for more than 10 years and can give you a short list of good ones upon request.



Medicine:

  * Aspirin
  * Imodium
  * Gas-x or equivalent
  * Calcium Tablets aka Tums
  * Bandages of all sizes - gauze ones are useful in so many situations it isn't even funny
  * Cotton Balls - can be used to help bandage wounds in a pinch with a bit of string or cloth, also good fire tinder (along with dryer lint)
  * Tampons - the same idea as the cotton balls and gauze, they can also be used to help filter water
  * Rubbing Alcohol/Hydrogen Peroxide - sanitizing/cleaning wounds
  * Any medicine you are taking now



 

Shelter:

  * Multi-use or Heavy Duty Tarp - this can be an impromptu tent or shelter if your smart about it.
  * Blankets - blankets and things similar aren't as good as tarps for keeping the weather off of you (remember that sheet and pillow fort you built as a kid?) but if you're smart about using them they can work only slightly less badly than a tarp. They are also useful for _inside_ your shelter.
  * Clothes - clothes are a form of shelter that you take with you everywhere you go and in a bad enough situation may be your only form of shelter. This means that your clothes need to be sturdy, weather appropriate, and you need to have a way to fix them if they get damaged. So having a sewing needle and thread as well as a general idea how to use it is a good thing.



 

Water Storage:

  * Water purification tablets - these are fairly easy to use and cheap to buy in the camping section of Walmart or any other store that sells camping stuff.



Ideally you'll have access to clean, drinkable, running water. Frankly this is going to be unlikely so what do you have to do to make sure you have something safe to drink?

  * First, make sure you know where to get water if the tap (water main) gets turned off. If you can't get water in this situation then buy those cheap big water containers in the camping section and fill them up in the tub before putting them away. Alternately or in addition you can also simply keep the tub and sinks full all of the time. The toilet water as well as the water in the toilet tank is clean to drink if you haven't used the toilet.


  * Second, if you have a way to get water without the help of pipes and the like then you have to make sure its _clean_ or at least that you can drink it. Now the terms clean and drinkable are not always the same thing. The water can look crystal clear and have something in it that will kill you if you swallow even a mouthful. Equally, it can look like dirt filled chocolate milk and be drinkable. How to tell the difference? Simply put use your common sense. Alternately you can use a combination of cloth, charcoal, and sand to filter out all of the physical/chemical stuff before boiling it to kill any nasty invisible critters. Whatever you do if you aren't convinced that the water is potable ie. drinkable then you boil it to sterilize the liquid that will keep you alive. This is where having some tea or coffee fixings to hand is a good thing since you boil water to make those two things.


  * Cheap Water Storage - Don't have the money to go out and buy a lot of bottled water or water bottles? That's okay. Now, go snag those plastic soda bottles you've been throwing in the bin, add a little dish soap and water, close the top, shake until foamy and clean, now rinse! Voila! you've got a water storage container! Keep it in a cool and or dark place to keep the chemicals in the bottle from causing you too many problems when you need the water. To keep it from tasting flat and disgusting pour it into a drinking container and make sure the water stream gets lots of air between containers. It adds oxygen back into the water and helps let our bodies know by the taste that its a good idea to drink it.



Tools:

  * Axe/Hatchet - this is good bit of self defense on top of its obvious use to make fire wood. In a pinch it can act as a hammer and a few other things.
  * Hammer - this general use tool also has a bunch of uses, use your imagination.
  * Pliers - these babies can be used to pick up hot things and move them, help wrench open that nasty can, or do anything else that requires gripping and/or torque.
  * Wrench set - these are useful for all sorts of different things. The bigger ones especially are good for self defense and popping open pad locks by using them as a cross between a pry-bar and backwards scissors.
  * Rope and/or cordage - this should be self explanatory but some interesting things fall under this category.



 

Rope and/or Cordage options:

  * Regular rope
  * Yarn
  * Thread
  * Tooth-floss
  * Paracord
  * Electrical Extension Cord
  * Any Kind of Electrical Cord
  * Wire
  * Cloth
  * Extra Clothes
  * Chains - may need to get creative to tie it off



 

I will wait a few days and if you want me to add basic techniques for actual set up or doing things and or alternative uses for things you thought were trash/junk just leave a review. Anonymous reviews are on. If I add pictures (whether by request or choice) and you have a Kindle download this story/handbook in pdf format and add it to the documents file just like a mobi. I discovered on my original Kindle that it works just fine and will even show the pictures!

Feel free to call me insane, I probably am. This is just to help you if insanity strikes and you can't get help right away.


	2. Forgotten Cheap Items

Other useful items:

  * Aluminum Foil - this can be used in nearly every situation from cooking to cleaning to very temporary water storage to fire starter to even acting as a heat reflective insulator. The imagination is the literal limit to this thin pliable sheet of metal.
  * Knife - if you can't think of a way to use this I really pity you.
  * Paper - the obvious use is as kindling but you can also use it to make maps, create notes, as a filter, or to keep yourself occupied so you don't go insane.
  * Charcoal - this can be used as a medicine to help save you from poisoning, as a filter to help clean any water of chemicals, as a type of fire fuel, or as a drawing utensil. This little useful item can be found in three places, the pharmacy, the camping section - medical subsection, or the art section of the store. You can also _make_ this with a bit of wood, time, and a way to drastically limit how much air the fire is getting so that it only burns away the really flammable stuff that makes smoke.
  * Cheap _Metal_ or _Glass_ Water Bottle - this little thing can be used to carry, boil, and protect any water you want to keep on you at all times. Its also relatively sturdy and easy to clean without the risk of nasty chemicals that plastic carries.
  * Gallon Ziplock bags or smaller - this is good for anything you can think of from carrying water to food storage to keeping things dry.



Creativity with your resources and a lack of fear when adapting them is the key. _No one can tell you what you will actually be facing_ but the **Bible** tells us to _see to our family first_ before offering aid to someone else. The bible also tells us in Revelations that when the time comes we are to head to the hills and hide in caves. I will let you decide what that means to you and any implications that may come with it. For me? I plan to have a certain set of basics ready and stuffed in the car, assuming I will never come back to the house if we have to take God's instructions to flee to the hills and live in caves for a time. I will keep the covenant of our ancestors and offer aid where I can.


End file.
